Sajak pertama yang telah aku tulis. (16/04/2015) Jangan telan.

Senyuman diletak atas wajah
Kerana tak mau yang lain berasa kau
dalam keadaan payah,
Segala kesakitan dikau telan
Kerana tak mau yang lain membuat spekulasi
bahawa kau kemurungan.

Oh, wahai manusia!
Adakah engkau sedar?
Berlaku cahaya bersinar
Berlalu awan mendung
Perjuangan ini kau teruskan
Biarpun tenagamu kehabisan.

Rohmu di suatu tempat yang gelap
Akan dikau mekar dan lenyap
Gundah
Bila kau mau ia pindah?
Keruntuhanmu disebabkan ralat
yang hanya berasal dari ayat.

Oh, wahai pejuang!
Adakah engkau sedar?
Kau mau menyelamatkan yang lain
meskipun kau tak mampu menyelamatkan diri
Sedikit-sedikit, lama-lama menjadi bukit
Suatu hari jasadmu akan meletup kerana terlalu pahit

Kini, jangan dikau telan
Kini, jangan dikau sembunyikan
Teruslah berjalan
Ya, aku setuju,
Ada mereka yang terlalu 'sibuk' dengan urusan diri
Akan tetapi ada mereka yang benar-benar peduli

Justeru,
Jangan kau telan.
Jangan telan.
Jangan.

Best websites to watch Asian(Korean, Japanese, Taiwanese..) dramas & other

For those who live in Malaysia, here are some websites that I recommend to watch Asian dramas with English subtitles

I think Korea is the country in Asia that really exposes their dramas internationally, more than Japan, Taiwan and China so...

Best website to watch mostly Korean dramas:

-myasiantv.com/ 

  (really has good HD quality videos)

On mobile phones or tablets:

-Viki

Best website to watch all Kor, Jap, Tai, Ch dramas:

-gooddrama.net/ (this website doesn't have HD quality videos for all dramas, popular dramas yes, but overall the quality of videos are fine and the subtitles are good)

As for apps for mobile phones or tablets, I couldn't find any.

------

Best website to keep (kinda) up to date with Japanese dramas:

-jdorama.com/

(it has all the synopsis and facts)

Best website to keep up to date with Korean dramas:

-dramafever.com/

^Of course right?

Some other websites to watch:

-asianrice.tv/

^this website doesn't have all the recent dramas but the quality of videos are fine

-YOUTUBE!! obviously.

~there are some dramas that a few youtube users upload so feel free to watch there

Review on Liar Game (Japanese drama)

So this is the synopsis:

At the show, a scrupulously honest college student named Nao Kanzaki - receives a package containing 100 million yen (about 1 million dollars) and a note that she is now a contestant in the Liar Game Tournament. In this fictional tournament, contestants are encouraged to cheat and lie to obtain other contestants' money, with the losing ones forced to bear a debt proportional to their losses. When Nao's first opponent - a trusted former teacher - steals her money, she seeks assistance from a con man named Shinichi Akiyama. Though they manage to defeat him, Nao and Akiyama decide to buy out his debt and advance through different rounds of the Liar Game Tournament against merciless contestants, while at the same time attempting to free their opponents from debt and to defeat the Liar Game organization from within.

I am giving this drama 5/5 stars. It was very very mindblown. There were times where I was confused a lot. So many tricks and deceiving. This drama has taught me a lot of things so I cannot wait to watch the second season. Kanzaki Nao, I think, has made such an impact on me, same goes to this drama. It's okay to believe in people because no matter how evil they are, how broken they are, if you manage to touch their heart and show them hope, they will believe in you. There is bad in the world but at the same time there is good and light. It has really touch my heart and made me more interested in psychology.

Besides that, oh my god Matsuda Shota was so so damn hot I just couldn't handle it. I feel like Akiyama fell in love with Kanzaki Nao even though in the manga and j drama, it didn't really show the romance but I know he did fell for her and I know they will end up together though it doesn't show that in the series. He was such a broken person but Kanzaki Nao brought hope for him and I just ship them so so so muchchchchhcchh. 

Overall, it was such an amazing drama. I can't wait to watch the second season.

Sajak 24/4/15

Sebuah sajak yang ditulis sehari sebelum sambutan hari lahir ayahanda.

Oh papa!

Dulu aku benci!

Bergenang air mataku melihat engkau menusuk hati mamaku

Adakah engkau tak dengar aku luahkan semuanya pabila waktu senja tiba

Oh, aku lupa!

Cubit paha kanan, paha kiri sakit juga

Engkau tiada, engkau pergi, engkau tinggalkan kami tatkala

kami tenggelam dalam kegundahan!

Meranap mamaku bersayu

Terguris hatiku melihat mamaku macam tu

Tergamak engkau biar mamaku macam tu

Alangkah baiknya jika engkau minta ampun dengan mamaku

Namun begitu

Aku sedar

Hanya engkau yang aku dapat panggil ayah

Engkau yang mampu tetap membantuku

Emosiku yang sebelum ni berlingkar kini berpancar

Secocok dengan langit yang sekian lama menjadi biru

Akhirnya aku dapat keluh dengan lega

Kerna aku sedar engkau tak seperti ayah lain

Yang tak berhati perut kerna meninggalkan keluarga selama-lamanya

Yang sepatutnya dipandang hina kerna menjual anak

Yang lebih kejam kerna menggunakan keganasan atas isteri dan

Darah daging sendiri

Alhamdulilah

Terima kasih ayahanda

Engkau masih sanggup menanggung beban ni walaupun

sedikit sahaja jikalau mau bandingkan dengan bonda

Engkau masih berada di sini

Terima kasih ayahanda

Atas segalanya yang kau telah berikan

Sungguhpun aku tak maafkan

Bumi mana yang tiada hujan

Jadi, aku akan terima

Di sini

Inginku minta maaf jika pernah keterlaluan

Renunglah luar jendela

Dan perhatikan bintang itu

Selamat hari lahir, dady!

Updates on life #4

Exam is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

YAS YAS YAS YAS finally exams are over and Im enjoying my freedom a lot right now!!!!!!!!!!! I think that I did my best so hopefully the results will come alright InsyaAllah. Maths was the easiest I guess huhuhu. The hardest has got to be KH. Damn damn KH. My KH teacher asked us to read Chapter 1 and Chapter 2 ONLY for form 1 but the questions damnnnn! They had questions of other chapters ugh... AND we're in form 2 not form 1.. so why were there so many questions of form 1???? I don't get it sigh. Plus, she expects us to all get As for KH. What the hell?

Ok other than exams I guess things are pretty much alright. Izzah and me... Hm, I guess we're fine, but we're definitely not the same as before and I feel like we have drifted apart a lot and I feel like she is only half-heartedly being friends with me. Same goes to Nadya. I don't know why, it's just that I have that feeling. OH TOMORROW IS IU DAY! I don't know whether I should wear jubah to IU day . I want to because I don't want to be casual, neither do I want to go there dressing all fancy. So I thought jubah was perfect, just as uztazah had recommended to my whole class if we wanted to go to IU day. Hahahaha. Of course right? It's an uztazah.

Another thing is I don't know whether I should really restart. By what I mean restart is changing schools. I want to but I feel like I don't want to. I promised my friends that I would not change school if those 5 girls really try to block me from transferring.

So that's all for this update. :)

Japanese&Mandarin

So I reallyreally want to learn Japanese and continue learning Mandarin.. I want to study in Japan sooo yea in order for that 我必须好好与努力的学日本语! (huhu I've been studying mandarin, yea as a third language, since I was 7 but then I stopped last year so it may be broken mandarin) and do well in my studies!!

Book blogging?

Tah lah.. Not sure when but I certainly will.. And I broke my own promise towards myself about creating a book blog. It's because I'm so busy doing other thingsssss!!! Now I really have to learn to not make promises that I'm uncertain that I can keep.

Updates on life #3

So it's May 7th already. May 7th. Cammy's bday. Next week exam. Things have been going alright for me I guess. Though it's not so great either. Izzah,my other best friend fought with me 2 weeks ago right on my birthday, April 16. And we may have alr reconciled but she is still shy or scared to talk to me..? Today I told my friends I will be and I wanna transfer but she didn't even try to um approach me or anything like that. So should I transfer? And I finally realized how annoying I am. Some people do hate me because I'm annoying but idk why.. I've never really hated anyone except this girl in my old school.. Amanda, because she was ALWAYS showing off and making me feel small. Which was when I was like 11-12? Now I don't hate her anymore though. So I've never really hated anyone just because they're annoying.. yeah sometimes they piss me off but I have never really hated anyone else.. About IU day... nak pergi tak? Or not. Hmmm. Hard choice. Meh.

Updates on life #2

So.. It's March already. How time flies so fast. It felt like only 5 weeks has passed by but it's been 2 months already. Wow, when I was younger I felt like time moves too slow but now I feel it moving so fast.. Cus you know.. You're busy with things. So yesterday I watched this Japanese drama called Dragon Zakura. It was so so fascinating and helpful. It makes me wanna study more. I shall need to start studying properly from now on, if I really want to make my dreams come true. Things are.. fine? Better than couple of days ago but still.. Oh and last night I dreamt about Heroes of Olympus which is so cool and I'm glad she has emerged out of my dreams. What a distraction.. I just wish I was never close to her.. What if I didn't raise up my hand that time when she asked my whole class about who wants to become her mentee? I would never have became close to her and this wouldn't be a distraction and she wouldn't drive me crazy AND she wouldn't give me pain. And school is... Fine? Yea you could say that.. But other than that it's just fine.

Crazy

So about my previous post is me telling you people about a girl who I am crazy about.. Yeah that girl. I've been dreaming about her 5 nights in a row and it's been 22 days since I last talked to her. The thing is she's occupying my mind 24/7. I miss her so much. I wish things could be the way they used to be, but it can't.

Sexuality

I'm always questioning my sexuality. Am I bisexual? Lesbian? Straight? Yeah being a lesbian is haram but as long as you don't have a relationship with another girl right? Sigh.. It's so confusing. I AM attracted to a girl. Very very very attracted to her and she drives me crazy. But am I SEXUALLY attracted to her? Romanticly interested in her? Well,  I've never thought of any romantic or dirty stuff about me and her.. But she drives me so crazy and Ive never been so crazy about a girl before.. Even Demi & 5H..  not as crazy about this girl. She drives me so crazy. I can't even think about one thing about her that doesn't drive me crazy. But at the same time I'm attracted to guys too.. So it's either Im bisexual or straight...? I don't know sigh. So you see,  your own sexuality can be so confusing

ESOK SEKOLAH

Shiz man tomorrow back to school aka hell again ha ha ha ha ha ha ha SHIZ TOO MUCH SHIZ

Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin

I like that even though their marriage didn't lasted, their connection lasted. They have this strong relationship, the relationship WAS romantic but now maybe both platonic and romantic.. Idk.. It's just amazing how Chris picked Gwyneth up when she was dying of grief.. And maybe they'll get back together? PLEASE YAS OH MY GOD and man Coldplay working on their last album???? That is just so heart-shattering to hear ugh.. The last album better be good and Coldplay NEEDS TO DO A WORLD TOUR. Come to Malaysia. PLS YAS YAS YAS YES. I have to meet them. I have to go to their concert and they have to come to Malaysia.

FORGOT MY OWN IPHONE PASSCODE?!

Well, this should be interesting isnt it? I am so frustrated right now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I cant access my own phone because I forgot my passcode. A simple 4 digit passcode. The reason why I forgot my own passcode is because I was too careless, sigh. Okay so firstly what happened was that my sister took my phone and she managed to access my phone by just guessing the passcode, so I changed it but I changed it and forgot what it was. So I tried and tried and tried until the 6th time when it started saying disabled for 1 minute and I tried again again but I have to wait. AND FOR NOW I HAVE TO WAIT ANOTHER FUCKING 1 hour to guess my passcode, just for one time. And if I dont, I will have to wait another stupid hour. Sigh.. I am not going to restore my phone, I rather wait and guess until I get my passcode right because I dont wanna wipe off my iphone clean. So... at the moment I will be using my laptop a lot I guess. And I will be guessing my passcodes until I get to access. AND I AM GONNAAAA LEARN HOW TO PROGRAM AKA HACK, you know just in case I dont manage to guess my passcode. My father had a PhD in Computer Science so I shall ask him to teach me how to program because I wanna know how to learn how to program too hehe. When I get older, I can work for people and hack stuff for them. It may not be easy but I will try. And if I dont manage to guess my own iphone passcode then I will ask my father to crack the passcode for me then.

"Into the Woods" & "Jupiter Ascending'

Okay so.. these are my reviews for the movies mentioned in the title.

Into the Woods: SO MUCH BETTER THAN I EXPECTED. 5/5 stars. The Disney movies keeps on getting better and better. I really hated the Prince who married Cinderella, what a cocky jerk!! The Witch.. I expected her to be more evil.. But I guess she WAS evil because she had her own reasons... The Baker, Cinderella, The Witch, The Baker's Wife, Little Red Riding Hood, Jack and his mom... The characters were the ones that made me enjoyed the movie very much. IN FACT I LOVED THE MOVIE. And the humor in this movie.. EXCELLENT. The character development... World building.. Everything wonderfully done. THE PART WHERE THE NARRATOR SAID "and they all lived happily ever af-" AND THEN HE GETS INTERRUPTED BY A GIANT STOMPING HER FEET ON THE GROUND IN THE WOODS.. Ah that part was so goddamn funny djfakjfhkadkj but also really deeppppp. SO JUST OVERALL I LOVED AND ENJOYED THE MOVIEEEE. I also expected Johnny Depp to get more parts but it's okay, was kinda sad though, but it's alrightttt. LOVED THE MOVIE.

Jupiter Ascending: Disappointment AND satisfaction, too. I had high expectations for this one but it did not reach my expectations. BECAUSE I DONT REALLY GET HOW JUPITER WAS CALM WHEN SHE WENT THROUGH her discoveries of aliens?? Yeah I mean I know she is one, but she doesnt know that she is one so how could she have been calm when she found out. And Jupiter falling in love with the hot hunk who saved her life when it's just the hot hunk's responsibility is too predictable. Channing Tatum?? Kinda meh about his acting.. Mila Kunis was fine but Channing Tatum? Not that good. BUT DOUGLAS BOOTH AND EDDIE REDMAYNE, they both played their characters very well. I was really shock at first to hear Eddie talking like that..But I was also excited. I really liked the Sci-Fi in this movie. But some parts were too Sci-Fi.. I AM A HUGEEE SCI-FI FAN BUT SOME PARTS WERE TOO SCI-FI. Overvall, the movie was entertaining, satisfying but it didnt reached the high expectations that I had for it. So 3/5 stars!

Updates on life

So.. About my "Books!!" post.. I did not go to the book exhibition which is really sad.. But I might go to some book exhibitions on CNY!! I might, well only might. And.. things have been really rough for me for the past few days.. I prgd & had nervous mental breakdowns because of those words man those words. Her words made me feel like crap. Loads of crap. But parts of it were right. Which is why it has affected me, a lot. She asked me to fix her relationship with her best friend. And I do know how to. Which is letting time pass by, but the thing is.. I do not know how to fix my relationship with HER. And if I let time pass by like that to us.. It's just a waste, all of it.. A waste. But Im certain I will think of something. And last night, god if I were awake. My brother, sigh... I wish I could cut his head off.  And my dad, oh my Allah.. What is it with him?! Anyways.. once I turn 14, I promise myself I will make a book blog on blogger and instagram!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hihi.. Im only 13 now sooo... just once I turn 14. Not just that really, I wish to write more.. I have started writing a novel on wattpad but Im having a long-term writers block cus I need to read, do homeworks and revision and stuff. But really it's just all about the schedule..

Tom Hiddleston.

TOM HIDDLESTON. HE IS A MAN THAT NO ONE CAN RESIST OR IS IMMUNE TO. EVEN IF YOURE A HETEROSEXUAL MALE. OH MY GOD, ITS NOT HIS LOOKS, ITS HIS CHARMS. OH MY GOD I THINK I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO RESIST HIM. UGH SKDM"SL:D"SLDJLSJDSKJD. ITS EEVRYTHING ABOUT HIM. IVE BEEN OBSESSED WITH HIM SINCE 2013 BUT I STILL CNAT GET HIM OFF MY MIND.

Books!!!

Im so excited for tomorrow cus BIG BAD WOLF FIRE SALE!!!! BOOKS BOOKS BOOKS.

What oh ok

Don't you just ever want to express things somewhere at the right time and right place but when you get the chance to you can't express it? Yeah that's what is happening to me. I think I am totally going to blog for the rest of my life and some of you might read this blog post.. Idk. But I guess I am already expressing my feelings. So all I guess all this are absurd and full of nonsense, unless if you understand how I feel. I want to let everything out. Everything. But if I do at a short period of time I will be this massive bomb that is about to explode. I am just going to say that... I will blog as long as I live. But it's not like my world is just going to be on my blog. My world is huge. The world is huge. I will share and try to relate. My blog will be kind of like my journal and diary. Just... my LIFE journal and diary.. if that makes any sense. But I will also make a journal once my best friend, Izzah buys me one on my 14th bday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess who's back?

I AM BACKKKKKKKK WOOHOOOHOHOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Lol no one reads my blog meh so Im talkin to myself only la waaa